Summer Heat
by yumeneko
Summary: What happens if we throw Ken and Omi into a theatre class, let them have a teacher who looks like Crawford and have two very annoying classmates? Not to be read by rabid Omi, Ken and Crawford fans. Contains a slight yaoi, madness and hysterical laughing.
1. Itai... The twins from hell...

**Chapter 1**

Disclaimer: Omi, Ken and the rest of Weiss Kreuz ain't mine. Suzume and Miyuki are too evil to be someone else's. They're mine.

Note: If you don't like reading about Weiss getting their asses kicked by two seemingly harmless girls, don't read. 

Note 2: Ah. This reminds me of my sister... so sweet, so innocent, so darn annoying...

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                "Why me. Why am I attending these damn classes..." Omi sighed as his underwear was about to be  put on his head for a farewell gift. If you're wondering why sweet Omi-kun had a wedgie for a gift, read please!

                "Ahaha!" Yohji laughed when Ken and Omi told him what happened at the mall. "So you wanna go attend those free trial acting lessons for one whole summer?" Aya said as serious as ever. Omi and Ken nodded. "Just a break from the flower shop." Omi smiled. "Yeah!" Ken gave a huge grin as in his head, thoughts of stardom were running like crazy. "So when will they start?" Aya asked again as Yohji recovered from laughing. "Ashita. (Tommorow.)" The two chorused. "Anyway, it's vacation." Omi smiled. "It's fully air-conditioned!" Ken gave another big grin. "Oh well. Gotta go watch the news..." Aya said looking at the clock.

                The next day, Ken and Omi went into what reminded them of a dance studio and was greeted by a man who looked nearly like Crawford. The only thing was, he had an eternally present smile on his face. "Konichiwa, minna!!!" He said ever so cheerfully. "And to think Crawford was creepy..." Omi said. Two ten-year-old girls with green eyes and blue hair in pigtails popped out of the door. "Ahh! The twins!" The cheerful man said, "Minna, say hello to our alumni, Suzume and Miyuki Nageki!" "How can you tell them apart?" Ken asked. "Well, Miyuki-chan wears pink most of the time and Suzume wears yellow." The cheerful man said. "Konnichiwa, Kurage-sensei!" The twins said in unison. "Ah! I've forgotten to introduce myself! I'm Kurage Yukikaze. You can call me Kurage-sensei! Let's start this class by introducing ourselves..."

                So the introduction went on. There were fat people, skinny people, millionaires and the middle-class then it was Ken's turn to introduce himself. "Erm, Boku no namae wa Hidaka Ken desu. I work as a florist at the Koneko no Sumu Ie. That's all!" Ken said in a rush. Then it was Omi's turn, "Ano, boku no namae wa Tsukiyono Omi desu. I work at the same shop as Ken does. Um... I hope I'll have a good time in this class..." Omi said with a nervous smile. He could have sworn that Miyuki raised an eyebrow and Suzume was looking at him with the 'oh-yeah' look. That made it all creepier. So after the introduction, Kurage-sensei went on talking about theatre and letting them play some acting games. And after all that came the gift from heaven (or at least they thought it was.) Break Time. Omi brought a box of onigiri for break time. Before the two could get to eating, hands covered their eyes. It was the twins. Miyuki, disguising her voice of that of a sexy woman said, "Guess who?" "One of Yohji's girlfriends?" "CHIGAU!" Suzume said winking at her sibling. And as they released their hands off their eyes, they kicked them in the rear. Ken looked back to see who gave them the sore butts but all they could see were the twins and everybody else simply eating their food. "Hen desu ne, Omi-kun." Ken said. "I wonder if Schwarz is amongst us?" Omi said looking around for a sign of Nagi, Schuldig or Crawford. Definitly not Farfello since if he would be in a crowd like this, he would kill everyone without hesitation. "It might be Crawford." Ken said remembering what Kurage-sensei looked like. "Demo, Crawford couldn't have pulled off that voice." Omi said to Ken. "Maybe Schreient ressurected from the dead?" Ken said looking around for those girls. "Or maybe it was just our imagination..." Omi said. But as Ken turned to get the onigiri, he facefaulted, "Omi, your delicious onigiri... are GOOOOOOOONE!!!!" "It must be a hungry Schreient member?" Omi said sweatdropping. "Matte. Wasn't it two people who covered our eyes?" Ken said. Omi nodded and said, "And that voice that said 'chigau', wasn't it something like..." suddenly, Suzume and Miyuki went into the studio after throwing something into the trashcan outside and Suzume patted her stomach and said, "Ahh! Oishii..." "THAT!" Omi said pointing to Suzume. "Doushite?" Suzume asked. "Are you the ones who kicked us?" Ken angrily said. "What if I said yes?" Miyuki said snobbily. "Then I'll report you to Craw... ah... Kurage-sensei!" Omi said fuming. "You're just jealous..." Suzume said pulling Omi's ear. Miyuki stuck her tounge out and said, "Piida!" "Here's a gift from me to you..." Suzume said ever so innocently to Ken, "WEDGIE!!!" And she pulled Ken's underwear over his head. "KURAGE-SENSEIIIII!!!!" Omi cried. But it was useless, Kurage was sleeping with headphones on his head. "Shimatta..." Omi sighed.

                "Ah, rough day?" Aya said after listening to Omi and Ken's day at the Theatre Class. "I want out!" Omi said. "Um, Omi. I'm afraid we can't back out..." Ken said, "I made a bet with Yohji that if we survive this, he'll give us his paycheck. If not, we'll have to give him our paychecks..." "BAKA!!!" Omi cried while bonking Ken on the head, "OMAE WO KOROSU YO!!!!!!!!" "Itai. You hurt more than those hell twins..." Ken said.

*Will they survive the summer? Will they come back alive after a second day of Theatre Class? Will those twins stop bugging them? Find out on the next chapter!!!*


	2. Crawford the crossdresser???

**Chapter 2**

Disclaimer: Omi, Ken and the rest of Weiss Kreuz ain't mine. Suzume and Miyuki are too evil to be someone else's. They're mine. Nuriko is Yuu Watase's brainchild.

Note: If you don't like reading about Weiss getting their asses kicked by two seemingly harmless girls, don't read. Don't mistake Kurage as Brad Crawford. Imagine Brad as a crossdresser...

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                "Itai..." Ken said as Suzume wrestled him, "UNCLE!!!" "Haha! I win! You lose! Piida!" Suzume said sticking her tounge out. "Brats..." Omi said behind their backs, "Ken-kun wa daijoubu ka?" "Hai. Hai." Ken said getting up, "Why are they stronger than us?" "I dunno." Omi shrugged his shoulders, "At least they didn't touch our lunch!" 

                "Now, tomorrow is the auditions. This year's play is... Sleeping Beauty." Kurage-sensei said, "And thsi year, I want..." Kurage looked at his students. Omi, Ken and a very fat boy were his only male cast. And he did know that the two worked together in the same shop. So he knew it was easier if the two were paired up. "Suzume Nageki as Miryoku-miya with Miyuki Nageki and Ken Hidaka as understudies. Then, Yuri Hyonomori will play as Utsukushii-hime with Kyoko Chieyama and Omi Tsukiyono as understudies. Is that O.K. with you all?" Everyone nodded but Omi and Ken raised their hands and asked at the same time, "Who will we be paired with?" Kurage looked at them and his glasses cleared up and that made him look more like Crawford. But instead of trying to kill them, the Crawford-wannabe put his hand on his cheek and laughed, "Ohohohohohoho!" "Hen..." The two guys facefaulted.

                Back at home, it was dinner and Aya ordered Chinese fried rice. As the four were eating, Ken asked Aya, "Um, Aya-kun, did Crawford ever put his hand on his cheek and laughed like a fox?" At that single question, Aya almost choked on his fried rice. Yohji made a fool out of himself again and fell on the floor laughing. He can just imagine that. The invincible Brad Crawford, dressed like Nuriko (or any crossdresser if you wish), laughing the laugh of the fox, "Ohohohoho!", you could hear him say. Omi and Ken facefaulted at the thought. Aya was still almost choking and Yohji... never mind.

                The next day was the rehearsal. Kurage enjoyed watching the twins and the two girls do their parts. But the guys on the other hand were pretty much avoiding getting too close to either the other guy or the Crawford-wannabe who laughs like a fox. "Kitsune-otoko..." was Aya's last comment about Kurage before leaving the dining room. And Omi was thinking about that as he did his lines, so at the very middle of the scene, he laughed so hard that he fell down the stage.

Meanwhile...

                "Crawford! I know you're in here!!! Open up!" Aya knocked on the door of Brad's home. Nagi opened the door and said, "Oh. It's you. The Abyssian. What are you here for? Revenge?" "Iie." Aya said, "I want to ask a question." "Spit it out." Nagi snarled. "Ano... does Crawford laugh like a fox?" Aya said in his most serious face. Nagi's face went all SD and he said, "NANI?!?!? Schuldig come over here!" And Schuldig came, "Oh, it's you." "Ask him the question!" Nagi ordered Aya and he sighed and asked the question again. Schuldig fell down laughing thinking about Brad crossdressing and laughing on the top of his lungs, "Ohohohoho!" Hearing all the commotion, Brad came down. "What's with all this racket!" he asked. Nagi's face was still SD and Schuldig was like a laughing carpet.

*Will Brad find any connection between him and Kurage? Will Omi and Ken survive their roles? And what will happen to Aya when he asks Brad the question? Find out on the next chapter!*     


	3. Shonen-ai fans rejoyce!

Chapter 3  
  
Disclaimer: Omi, Ken and the rest of Weiss Kreuz ain't mine. Kurage and the twins. They're mine. Barbie is Mattel.  
  
Note: If you don't like reading about Weiss getting their asses kicked by two seemingly harmless girls, don't read. Whatever happened to those laughing fools? Beware of shounen-ai.  
  
Thanks to: RoMayDraco who helped on creating this mon... I mean... masterpiece. ^-^  
  
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Back in Theatre Class, they were about to leave when suddenly Omi's cellphone beeped, Omi read the SMS message from Aya to Ken, "I'm @ Crawfords house. Matte kudasai. I'll pick u up." "What is he up to?" Ken said. "Did you say Crawford?" Kurage asked the two.  
  
"Do you laugh like a fox?" Aya asked Brad. Brad fell over laughing, "Would you think a man like me would laugh like that?!? Although I used to have a classmate of mine who admired me. Anyway, he was gay. But strangely though, every passing day he slowly began to look like me. Well, he forgot the glasses though... He was a wannabe." Aya sighed and said, "Omi and Ken's acting teacher looks like you and laughs like a fox." Brad sighed and said, "Yeah that's him. The forgein exchange boy, Yukikaze Kurage..."  
  
"Wahh!!! I miss Crawford-sama!!!" Kurage wailed at the two guys. "Hen..." The two facefaulted again. Kurage kept on sobbing and said, "I'll never forget that day. He was my tutor for the english test and he was sooooo kind to help me... Crawford-sama..." Kurage sobbed with hearts for eyes, "Aishiteru... Crawford-sama..." Omi and Ken facefaulted.  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Yohji is at the flower shop all alone 'cause Aya closed the shop. "I need Viagra..." He says.  
  
Farfello is in his room and sees a small doll in a box, "Barbie?" and he starts playing with it.  
  
Crawford was still babbling about Kurage when he asked Aya, "Wanna go disco dancing?" "Um... I was going to pick up Omi and Ken from classes." Aya replied. "That's O.K. The disco hall is just behind the theatre class. Beware of the bathroom, they're connected." Crawford said shrugging.  
  
"Um, did you hear something?" Omi asked Ken. Then the door was blasted down and there was Farfello with Nagi and Schuldig. "Oh no. To our positions!" Ken said and in a flash, Omi was in the princess costume and Ken was in the prince costume. Ken said his lines, "Oh! Such beauty is before me, yet alas, she is asleep. Even if she never wakes up, I would like to taste those tender lips of hers."  
  
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I am banging my head on the keyboard.  
  
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And Ken kissed Omi ever so tenderly on the lips. It was a warm moment and Farfello dropped Nagi and Schuldig. "Itai..." Nagi said. "Wahhh!!! Crawford-sama..." Kurage wailed. "Hey, Nagi, let's fling him..." Schuldig said. And Nagi used his telekinesis to fling Kurage to the sky.  
  
But outside, Aya was making out with Crawford.  
  
And inside, Farfello was tearing up the foundation. And in a single moment, the building went crash...  
  
A while later, Nagi came out of the rubble with Omi in his arms and Ken was trying to free Schuldig from the rubble. Farfello was at a nearby toy store asking for Barbie. Aya and Crawford were still making out and Kurage fell through the roof of the Koneko No Sumu Ie and landed on Yohji's lap, "Wanna make out?" he asked. The ressurected Schirent were doing the can-can on the rubble...  
  
*What ever will happen to the play? Does Kurage have a new love life? Is Aya wearing platform shoes? And what's with Schirent?* 


	4. A Wedgie To Remember...

Chapter 4  
  
Disclaimer: Omi, Ken and the rest of Weiss Kreuz ain't mine. Kurage and the twins. They're mine.  
  
Note: If you don't like reading about Weiss getting their asses kicked by two seemingly harmless girls, don't read. Whatever happened to those laughing fools? Beware of shounen-ai. Oh yeah, I sort of appear here.  
  
Thanks to: RoMayDraco who helped on creating this mon... I mean... masterpiece. ^-^  
  
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Finally, it was the day of the show. Suzume and Miyuki were both sick and Kyoko and Yuri were both in Hokkaido. So it was Omi and Ken's turn. Omi looked at Ken with nervousness in his eyes. Ken put his hand on Omi's shoulder and said, "Don't worry, just remember what we did the last time." Omi nodded and did his role well.  
  
Meanwhile, in the audience, Schwartz was there with the rest of Weiss plus Kurage-sensei. Kurage was hugging Yohji's arm, Crawford's hand was on top of Aya's and Nagi and Schuldig were still waiting for their dates to end the show. Farfie is at the last row playing with Barbie dolls and being as crazy as the Sakura Avalon/Kinomoto look-alike beside him who likes knives and has a bishie who needs to be kept away from sharp objects... (yeah. That's me.)  
  
(Time passes....)  
  
"Oh sweet damsel! I find you as beautiful as the fields all around us! So, I ask of you, will you marry me?" Ken said his lines. "I shall fair knight!" Omi said.  
  
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Oh yeah... Bring in the dancing lobsters! I'm banging my head on the keyboard!  
  
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And they kissed as the curtain went down. All the audience gave a standing oviation.  
  
Backstage, before Ken and Omi left to see their dates, they heard two real familiar voices. "Ah! Leaving so soon?" "KISAMA!!!" Ken growled at Suzume and Miyuki. Miyuki punched him and said, "If you go now, you'll miss the cast party." "Which means what?" Omi asked. "We get to eat your food..." Suzume sang. "Okay, okay! We'll go..." Ken sighed as Omi ducked out of sight to tell the news to Schuldig and Nagi.  
  
At the cast party, every student in Kurage's class partied and ate like there was no tomorrow. The party ended around midnight and they all congratulated Ken and Omi for their great work on the play. But before Ken and Omi left, they heard the never-ending warcry of... "WEDGIE!!!"  
  
"My underwear stinks..." Omi cried with his underwear on his head. He and Ken were given wedgies for farewell presents. And so that ends the madness...  
  
*OWARI! 


End file.
